Depression, Perception,Connection Reflection

"One of the greatest needs at the core of the human experience, is a dual need...
1. To find meaning in life, and
2. To perceive and experience personal significance." - Stephen Glen and Jane Nelson in their book Raising Self-Reliant Children, In A Self-Indulgent World.

Today, more and more people are making appointments with Dr.'s of medicine, psychiatry and psychology.
A common theme among many is a need for relief from depression, anxiety or stress.
Anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication is typically prescribed, in combination with on-going evaluation and behavior modification strategies.
Before we can ask if this is really helping, we should first ask, "what the hell is going on to cause this epidemic of emotional, psychological and behavioral instability?"
Watching the documentary The Century of the Self will give many answers to this question. It is limited however, to identifying environmental influences that have set into motion patterns of thought and behavior.
Dr. Amen explains in his book Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, that in addition to environmental influences, there's the matter of genetics ,chemistry and brain trauma.
Sometimes someone is born with a physical or neurological brain abnormality that requires long-term medication or surgical intervention. Often these abnormalities are passed onto children and are beyond anyone's control.
Chemistry, however, is more subject to fluctuation. I firmly believe that environmental influences and chemistry are interconnected.
On a personal note, I've been depressed since I was a kid. I also witnessed many of my family members live with this often debilitating condition.
A few years ago I went through a drastic transformation environmentally and behaviorally. Eventually this recalibrated my chemistry as well!
My life was ultimately transformed by an empowering concept.
I decided that I no longer would be the product of my environment, but that my environment would be the product of me.
This put me in touch with ownership of the quality of my life. This also motivated me to embrace my personal responsibility to evolve. I say, leave stagnation to the ponds!!
I willfully cultivated a more positive, wholesome perspective. One that was not based on a self-serving mentality, but rather a desire to nurture others.
Where once I lived as an emotionally disengaged, helpless observer... I then shaped myself into a positive participant seeking connection in my interactions.
That positive perspective filled me with a sense of worth! I now have something positive to contribute!
Instilling coping skills like adaptability, forgiveness, understanding of humanness, patience, a thirst for knowledge, a perspective of equality and respect for life, as well as taking responsibility for outcomes influenced by my behavior, liberated me from a counterproductive cycle.
Sure, it's easier to blame others for disappointing outcomes, and others need to take responsibility for their part too. But once you've arrived at a negative experience, who are you going to let decide how you're going to be affected or what you're going to do about it?

So, we've asked the question, "why so much emotional turmoil these days?" And we've examined 3 factors that influence our emotional health. Now let's explore 2 more key elements that affect our quality of life... perception and connection.
"Critical brain chemicals that regulate mood, motivation, concentration, feelings, resistance to illness and depression are highly influenced by perceptions of personal significance." - Stephen Glen and Jane Nelson.
Though we should strive to perceive our own self-worth, we are greatly impacted by how others perceive us.
In childhood our self-image is dominated by the perceptions of our parents, peers, siblings and teachers. We believe that what they say about us is true.
If a child is told that they never listen, then they will think that's true because there's something wrong with them, therefore, excusing them from trying to listen.
Or, if a child is constantly given generic praise and told, "great job," no matter how little effort they invested, then they will likely develop a belief that they're so great and they don't even have to try, which leads to my least favorite character trait- arrogance.
If we don't develop the skill of observing our own effort, behavior and effect on others then we won't have anything substantial to base our understanding of our capabilities on. If we have no inner dialogue then we will continue to allow our self-image to be shaped by the perceptions of others.
Really, there's only 2 kinds of perception... positive and negative. All we have to do is choose which of those is our foundation! Ofcourse, seeing things as all positive is unrealistic and I'm not suggesting that as a strategy. You can recognize negative things and have a healthy level of critical thinking while choosing to remedy problems in a constructive way. Moderation is a virtue!
We've become a society of passive processors that don't question content or motivation.
This detached way of life is at the core of dehumanization. Ignorance is not bliss... it's ignorance and prolonged ignorance can lead to alot of suffering.
Then there's connection. If we routinely encounter negative perceptions, then we will routinely encounter disconnections.
Connection is established through eye contact and nourished through supportive, respectful dialogue. Especially the part of dialogue that involves listening!
These experiences of connection and recognition of significance are as vital to our survival as clean air, water, food and sunshine!
Without connection, we disengage. When we disengage we perceive ourselves as incapable or unworthy of interaction. When we perceive ourselves in a negative way we feel bad and our chemistry is altered. If our chemistry is altered for prolonged periods of time than our children inherit that imbalance and begin at a disadvantage. And if the environment doesn't improve then the cycle of dehumanization continues.
Today, we are faced with impending doom environmentally, economically and socially. There may come a time when anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medication aren't readily available to save us from life's hardships.
Are we so willing to allow humanity to unravel itself?
If not then I implore you to do your part! Set a better example! Dream a better dream! Share the responsibility to evolve and take humanity in a new direction! Learn to cope with Reality... which isn't always a pretty picture!
Humanity is capable of astonishing feats. The only thing that gets in our way is ourselves!
"If we think we can, we will. If we think we can't, we won't." - Stephen Glen and Jane Nelson.